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The only two words that I like associating with dry are ‘laundry’ and ‘humor’. I don’t like ‘dry days’, ‘dry skin’ and I certainly don’t like dry texting. If you’re wondering what dry texting is, and “am I a dry texter”, go back and read your text messages.
If all your responses read, ‘ok’, ‘cool’ or ‘yeah’, and you’ve been responding only once every two days, we have news for you – your texts are bone-dry and you better up your game. If you’re just naturally terrible at textual relationships, take a seat, we’ve got your back with tips on how not to be a dry texter.
What Makes You A Dry Texter?
Table of Contents
Like all forms of communication, texting has its own rules and etiquette. Just because you’re a face-to-face kind of person doesn’t mean you get to be a dry texter. So, what makes a dry texter?
If you’re forever sending one-word answers, never asking questions in return and ignoring all the cute photos and memes you’re being sent, you’re a dry texter. If you’re incapable of texting someone first or (the unthinkable!) leaving someone on ‘read’ for days at a time, you, my friend, need a lesson in text-iquette!
Bad texting leads to communication problems, and you don’t need that. So, do you feel like this might be a chronic problem with you, and you’re wondering how not to be a dry texter? Pull up a chair, class is in session. It’s time to learn how to not be dry on the phone.
To stop being a dry texter, you need to make the person at the other end feel like you’re invested in the conversation, and by extension, in them. That entails taking initiative to reach out, asking interesting questions, and putting in the effort to look up a funny meme or GIF to revive a dying conversation. Now that we’ve covered the basics of how to not be dry when texting, let’s delve deeper to help you shake off your texting inertia with some actionable tips.
Related Reading: How Often Should You Text A Girl To Keep Her Interested
How To Not Be A Dry Texter – 15 Tips
So, you might think text messages aren’t all that important. It’s not like meeting someone and ignoring them. Or even like not picking up someone’s phone calls. We’ve got news for you. Entire relationships can grow or perish based on your quality of texting. To not be boring when texting a guy or a girl is key to taking things to the next level, especially in today’s tech-driven world.
Notice if that cute girl you were sort-of-kind-of texting with is taking longer to get back to you. When you finally ask her if she’d like to meet up, she’s less than enthusiastic. Her texts are getting shorter and…drier. Hurts, doesn’t it! Now that you’ve been given a taste of your own medicine, you might want to put in some serious effort in learning how to not be dry when texting.
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Whether you’re a dry texter with your best friend or trying to not be a dry texter with your crush, it’s time to up your texting game. We’ve rounded up some tips to wet your dry texting whistle.
1. Don’t take too long to reply
Just because you can turn off the ‘last seen’ feature on WhatsApp, don’t assume people don’t realize they’ve been left on ‘read.’ If you haven’t responded to a message in two days or more, you better have broken all your fingers or then be stuck on a remote island with no network at all. Those two excuses might be acceptable, and we’re still not making any promises.
One of our tips on how to not be a dry texter is to respond, even if it’s just, “Sorry, I am busy just now, will chat later.” If you’re unavoidably delayed for a few hours, do respond by saying, “Sorry, was held up” etc. You’d do it if you were late to actually meet someone, so why should texting be any different.
It’s no Shakespearean sonnet, but it’s better than nothing. While it may not transform your texting skills magically, it’s at the very least a first step toward learning to stop being a dry texter.
2. Avoid one-word responses
No.
Don’t.
Do.
It.
Yes, we know, there will be times when you’re too caught up to type out more than a hasty ‘ok cool’. But this can’t become the rule, because it’s just plain rude and abrupt. Things like ‘ok’, ‘yeah’ and the utterly awful ‘k’, with the silent treatment afterward, is basically telling someone they’re not important and you have no time for their candid textual confessions.
Too bad, my friend. If you’re trying to not be a dry texter with your crush or just to not be dry on the phone in general, you need to put in the work. Maybe just pick your situation. If someone told you that they’re going to be 15 minutes late for a meeting, ‘okay’ could be acceptable. If someone just told you they’re newly engaged, or gave you spoilers for the new Marvel show, please do not say ‘k’. In fact, if it’s the latter situation, show up at their house and Hulksmash them!
3. Have a purpose
We’re being very deep and philosophical over texting, but it’s true! Conversations need to have a purpose and when you have a purpose, you text better. You know how every meeting has an agenda so that everyone gets to put their point across? Have the same approach to at least some of your texting.
Whether it’s a professional text chain or you’re just practicing how to not be a dry texter with your girlfriend, make your text talks a whole plan. What’s your aim? Are you angling for a date? Have you already had a few dates and wondering how to take it to the next level? (No, we don’t mean saucy pictures, you dirty mind!)
Have a text plan and write accordingly, so your texting game goes up a few notches. This is a great way to not have dry conversations over text if you’re not spontaneous or tend to overthink the ‘appropriate’ response to every message.
Related Reading: Top 5 Emojis Guys Use When They Love You
4. Use emojis/GIFs/memes
Yes, you can be an adult and use the eggplant emoji. And the peach. And the dancing lady in red. Emojis, GIFs and memes are like the colorful sprinkles on the cupcake of texting. They soften things up, make for a laugh and are honestly a language all on their own.
It is especially helpful to use these if you’re a reticent texter and not comfortable using a lot of words over text. If your crush just asked you if you like his favorite singer, and you actually hate them, you can say ‘not really’ and put a smiling emoji next to it. This is one of the great how to not be a dry texter examples to navigate a situation where you don’t feel comfortable giving a straight answer but at the same time don’t want to leave the other person hanging.
Apart from emojis, you can also tap into the gold mine of GIFs and memes to not be a dry texter with a boy or a girl you’re crushing hard on. Did your crush just pay you a compliment and you, for the life of you, can’t figure out what to say? Let an adorable GIF do the talking. Did your crush use a witty one-liner to which you have no comeback? Use a meme.
This way, rather than appearing abrupt and dismissive, you get to gently break it to people that no, you have not yet heard the new Taylor Swift album 15,000 times. Hopefully, they forgive you and you get a second date.
5. Ask interesting questions
So, you’re wondering, “Am I a dry texter?”, and more importantly, racking your brains over how to not have dry conversations over text. Remember that the secret to a good conversation in any form is to appear interested in the other party. Even if you don’t really want to read/hear about their coworker’s annoying laugh over and over, it bodes well for any relationship if you ask questions.
If it’s about a book they’re reading, ask them what else the author has written. If they’re complaining about their boss, ask them what exactly was said and throw in something about aren’t these ‘management sorts’ just the worst. Send a meme while you’re at it.
This worked wonders for Margaret and Thomas. Thomas had been having problems with his boss for a while. He and Margaret were texting and she asked, “So, what would you be like as a boss then?” And they fell into an hour of sending GIFs and memes of themselves as bosses. How not to be a dry texter? Meme it up!
Related Reading: 30 Texting Games To Play – Game Mode On
(Video) What To Do If You ALWAYS Text First 📲| COCO Chanou
6. Have a sense of humor
Standard relationship advice, right? But when you’re not face-to-face and wondering if the other person is actually laughing at your dry sense of humor, maybe you up your game a little. Don’t just send forwarded jokes, though those work in a crunch. Make up your own private text jokes, have hilarious nicknames for each other, send hideous front camera photos if you’re comfortable enough.
These may seem unremarkable but can turn out to be effective how to not be a dry texter examples when used in the right context, with the right person, and at the right time. Texting is fun, don’t forget. Don’t try too hard, let the laughter flow, and you’ll be just fine.
7. Read between the lines
Now, this is important. My partner hates having intense discussions over text because he says there’s so much scope for misunderstanding. I, on the other hand, could conduct my entire relationship over text, no problem. We spend a lot of time texting, and a lot of it is fun, casual stuff. But sometimes, you’re not sure what they’re saying or what they mean and how seriously you should take it. Try and read between the lines.
Related Reading: How To Be Romantic On Phone: 15 Tips To Get It Right
If they’re being a little serious and typing short answers, it’s possible they’re upset, worried or angry. If they’re sending you a lot of texts, they’re thinking about you, and they’re interested! If there’s been little or no contact for a week or more, send maybe one follow-up text and then leave it at that. If they’re typing ‘GOOD MORNING’ in capital letters each morning, it’s probably your mom and you should call her.
8. Flirt a little
This is my favorite part of texting because I get to flirt in my sweatpants and bare feet. Sure, dressing up and donning heels helps, but keep the love and lust alive over text messages too. Bringing your flirting A-game can work wonders if you’re trying to not be boring when texting a guy or a girl you’re interested in.
Paul and Lizzie had met a few times before and while there were definitely sparks, they weren’t meeting as often as they’d like. Lizzie sent Paul a photograph of herself in a new suit with some colleagues. Paul’s response was, ‘Nice. Who’s the gorgeous girl in the grey suit? Would she like to have a drink with me?’
Flirting is important regardless of whether you’ve just met, or if you’re flirting with your spouse of 20 years. So, if you’re wondering how to not be a dry texter with your girlfriend of many years, send her a text saying, “Just thinking about you being the world’s sexiest couch potato.” Take it from me, it works.
9. Focus on details
It’s always the little things that matter. The small details that people remember that end up making a relationship special. It’s the same with texting. Focus on what’s being said, and what it says about the texter. If she’s telling you about a trip with her girlfriends, remember their names. If he’s talking about football, be sure you know his favorite team and player.
Related Reading: The 12 Secrets To Finding True Love
Bring up an outfit they wore the last time you met or a dish they ordered. Send a text saying, “Hey, I loved that pasta you ordered last weekend, trying to replicate it and need a taster. Interested?” If you get it right, there’ll be more than a chef’s kiss to look forward to. The journey to stop being a dry texter begins with being invested in the person you’re talking to. I cannot stress this enough.
10. Make it a conversation
Too often, text messages are seen as short and casual with no real feeling behind them – a mere functionality and convenience. But if you’re hoping to make headway with a potential crush, or even if you’re a dry texter with your best friend and want to be better, it needs to become a conversation.
If you’re texting someone you met on a dating app, don’t limit it to ‘Hello’ and ‘How are you?’ Even if you are an awkward texter, push on. Ask them about their interests and their families? And text as though you’re really talking to them.
Use exclamation points, say ‘HAHAHAHAHA’ when something’s funny, be creative. Communication is always an art, even when you’re staring at your phone screen. Even if it’s a dating app conversation, be good at it! Show the other person that you’re making an effort to not have dry conversations over text.
11. Initiate the first text
Yes, we know. Taking the first step is always scary, even on text. What if they don’t reply? What if they think it’s creepy? What if it’s actually the wrong number and you’re texting their father who’s a cop? Or you’re wondering, “I’m a girl, should I text him first?’ But someone has to be brave and do it.
Else, what if both of you are too scared to send that first text and nothing ever happens and you’re both sad and lonely forever! Love takes courage, the first text takes courage. So, flex your thumbs, pick up your phone and get to texting. Who knows you might get along like a house on fire and the concerns about how to not be boring when texting a guy may be moot.
12. Be invested
A text relationship is like Amazon stock. Okay, not really, but you know what we mean. Communication is always an investment and if you want any returns, you need to put in the work. In text terms, don’t go ghosting. Don’t disappear after a perfectly good text talk, only to turn up three days later, expecting to pick up where you left off.
Invest in being polite, being regular and using texting as a medium to get to know the other person. The answer to how to not be dry when texting lies is keeping the conversation going, like a good game of ping-pong. Without adequate back and forth, things are bound to fizzle out even before they take off. Don’t let it come to that.
13. Don’t be over-eager
Be invested, as we’ve just said, but for the love of god, know where to draw a line. Don’t bombard them with ‘good morning’ texts or keep sending grinning photos of yourself or your breakfast or minute-by-minute updates. If they haven’t responded within a few minutes, don’t send a sad emoji or 10 question marks.
Give them space, and after a respectable amount of time, let it go if needed. Healthy relationship boundaries apply to texting too, remember. And double texting is truly sad. It makes you come across as a tad desperate, and that, my friend, is a near-certain put-off. So, don’t go overboard in your bid to stop being a dry texter.
14. Share from your end
Texting, like all communication, is a two-way street. If your crush has been sharing cute text messages with updates about their lives, or pictures, it would be nice if you responded in kind. If you’re not comfortable with oversharing over text, tell them that too, and maybe you can come to an understanding.
Be open and honest when you’re texting, that’s all people want. For instance, if you’re in the getting-to-know each other phase and don’t feel comfortable laying your heart bare over texts, tell them, “Well, the rest, I’d like to tell you in person.” If you’re looking for how to not be a dry texter examples, it doesn’t get much better than this. Not only have you piqued their interest but also laid the groundwork for a next date. Et, voila!
15. Ask for an opinion
People love being asked for their opinion, in fact, they often offer opinions even without being asked. But if you’re trying to not be a dry texter and get lucky via text, it’s a great idea to ask for an opinion.
It could be anything from sending a photo and asking, “Do you think this outfit works?” to “What did you think of the Presidential debate?” Asking for an opinion opens up a conversation and also makes them feel like their thoughts matter to you. And after all, what is love but knowing we’re important to someone.
Texting gets a lot of flak. It’s not authentic, it’s too much effort, it’s not the same as a real-life talk, etc., etc. But truth be told, we live in an age where texting is practically a life skill. So, brush up on your text skills and be the best texter you can possibly be. You won’t regret it.
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FAQs
How do I stop being dry in a conversation? ›
- Find what to say in your favorite topics. We all have things we are passionate about: activities, hobbies, projects, goals, ideas or jobs. ...
- Ask open ended questions. ...
- Blurt. ...
- Let the other person end the silence. ...
- Practice, practice, practice.
This guide to texting addresses the basics—write clearly; be yourself; be direct; double-check your text; follow up if you don't hear back; be careful with spell check and dictating; write out words, not emojis; and respond promptly.
Why am I dry texter? ›“Dry texters may suffer from social anxiety and have a difficult time communicating their thoughts and feelings via written word,” says psychotherapist Anita Astley, LMFT, author of the forthcoming book Unf*ck Your Life and Relationships.
How can I spice up my text? ›- Audio messages. Record a short audio message. ...
- Short video. ...
- E-card. ...
- Selfie. ...
- Scenery shot. ...
- Short poem. ...
- Random Thought of Why You Care. ...
- Link to an Article on Something You Know They Enjoy.
In conclusion, if he likes you, he will text you. How guys text you when they like you varies, but some are consistent. For example, a guy will ask many questions about you, text first, compliment you, send emojis, make you laugh, find reasons to talk to you, and give hints for a date.
What not to text a girl? ›- Texts that oversexualize things (particularly early on in the relationship).
- Texts that just says “Hi” or “Hey” ...
- A text asking on your first date. ...
- Texts that require a long response. ...
- Texts that are vague or confusing. ...
- A text with just your phone number. ...
- No text at all. ...
A lazy texter barely takes a group chat seriously. They are getting the same 405 notifications as you, reading them simultaneously, yet has no input. Why? They simply don't care for this kind of negativity in their lives. Unless it's gossip or food.
What does a dry texter look like? ›Dry texting is what happens when someone sends you short replies that don't move the conversation forward. It usually consists of one-word answers like the dreaded 'K,' says dating coach Alexis Germany.
Why do boys text so dry? ›He might be busy, he might not like texting, or he might not be into you. Dry texting is incredibly frustrating, but try to be patient for the first couple of short texts or long response times. If he starts the conversation up again or starts sending more detailed messages, he was probably just busy.
Is being a dry texter a red flag? ›A text exchange with no emotion could be a red flag, she notes. If the texts are flat, with no smiling in the language and little energy, this might be an indication the date is emotionally aloof. Some people manage the anxiety of attachment by trying to control their environment, Winsberg points out.
Why is he not replying? ›
Most of the time, when a guy doesn't respond to a text immediately, he's just busy. Either he is busy with work, or maybe he's visiting family. He could also be running some household errands. Give him some time, and he'll get back to you.
What to text a guy in the morning to make him smile? ›- Cuddling with you would be perfect right now.
- I was dreaming of you all night long.
- I think of you every morning and dream of you every night.
- Good morning, pretty.
- The best part of my morning is you. ...
- I hope you spend your day thinking of me. ...
- Hoping you slept well.
- Make Eye Contact. Save. ...
- Smile. ...
- Use Body Language. ...
- Touch Him Playfully. ...
- Find Subtle Ways To Put Yourself In His Path. ...
- Be Witty. ...
- Show Genuine Interest. ...
- Leave Some Questions Hanging.
It's pretty common knowledge that XOXO means "hugs and kisses." As Dictionary.com defines it, the phrase is generally thought of as a "lighthearted way of expressing affection, sincerity, or deep friendship." The X represents a kiss, while the O represents a hug.
What does 3 dots mean in texting? ›They signal either that something has been omitted from quoted text, or that a speaker or writer has paused or trailed off in speech or thought. That's the basics.
What does LOL mean from a girl? ›Lol is an acronym of laugh out loud. It can be used as an interjection and a verb. Lol is one of the most common slang terms in electronic communications. Even though it means laugh out loud, lol is mostly used to indicate smiling or slight amusement.
What does XX mean in texting? ›XX is a sweet, romantic gesture that indicates 2 kisses.
If the person you're talking to signs off a text with 2 Xs, the X still means “kiss” but the subtext here is a little more intimate.
Give them the benefit of the doubt, both experts agree. If you wait seven days, without sending a double text, and your inbox is still at zero, you should take that as a sign too. No response is a response, Fields says.
What is the 3 day rule after first date? ›Popularized by the romcom, the three-day dating rule insists that a person wait three full days before contacting a potential suitor. A first-day text or call is too eager, a second-day contact seems planned, but three days is, somehow, the perfect amount of time.
Why girls don t text first? ›Some ladies do not text first because they want you to initiate the contact yourself. They enjoy the thrill of being chased and at the center of their significant other's attention. As a result, they would lay back and allow the other person to always reach out to them first.
How do you keep a girl on her toes? ›
- Be enigmatic. Don't be an open book that she can read inside out at her will. ...
- Listen to her. When we say you must listen to her, we don't mean that you just hear what she has to say about this one and that one and her work and her family. ...
- Be spontaneous. ...
- Be charming. ...
- Be a good kisser.
“It could be busyness (feeling overwhelmed with messages) or underlying anxieties that lead someone to be a bad replier,” she explains. “Sometimes it can also be about control – when we feel anxious and overwhelmed, we might try to take control of the situation i.e. 'It's up to me when I get back to someone'.
What is a ghost texter? ›Or should you ghost the person who sent them? Ghosting happens when someone cuts off all online communication with someone else, and without an explanation. Instead, like a ghost, they just vanish.
How do you deal with late replies? ›Try something like this: Thank you so much for your thoughtful note last month! Also, my apologies for the slow reply; transitioning into this new role has been a little overwhelming, but I'm excited.
What is cold texting? ›What is cold texting? Cold texting is reaching out via SMS to a contact without their prior consent or permission. It's similar to cold calling and cold emailing. Some examples that would lead to cold texting include: Purchasing a contact list from a third party.
How do you flirt with a dry texter? ›What's something you're looking forward to today?” It sounds simple, but starting off your dry texter's day with this question is a win-win: you might help them get into a positive headspace and look forward to their day, all the while kicking off the conversation and getting to know more about what makes them happy.
Is it rude to be a dry texter? ›Dry texting refers to brief, emotionless texts that sort of keep the conversation going but without any real purpose or effort. While everyone may be guilty of sending the occasional dry text from time to time, a serial dry texter can come across as rude, awkward, aloof, or downright socially unaware.
Is text blasting illegal? ›Under the CAN-SPAM Act, the FCC regulates commercial text messages sent to mobile devices, making sending unwanted text messages to cell phone numbers illegal. These unwanted messages are also known as robotexts. Messages must also be easily identifiable by the reader as an advertisement.
How can I be a cold girl? ›Don't lose yourself in laughter or tears; keep it together and try not to convey too much emotion. Be aloof and detached whenever you're talking to someone. Don't talk about yourself. Keep some distance from those around you by not saying too much about your thoughts, feelings, habits and personal life.
Is it OK to cold text? ›Yes, cold texting is illegal, but it's also unnecessary. All you need is to make it easy for your prospects to get in touch. Its direct nature makes text message marketing one of the most effective ways of turning your prospects into customers. You just need to make sure you have permission first.
How do you get rid of a dry Texter? ›
- 1 Pinpoint the reason behind his dry texting.
- 2 Restart the conversation by bringing up his interests.
- 3 Use a playful question to fix a texting rut.
- 4 Mention a fun memory to remind him of your connection.
- 5 Send a photo to give you more to talk about.
Be detailed and invested in your messages. Text with sincerity or not at all. If you notice that the person you're texting is giving you one-word responses back, take it as a sign that they either don't have anything to talk about or they don't feel like talking. Text them another time.
Is it normal for texting to get boring? ›But here's the good news — it's totally normal for texting to get boring sometimes. Even when you are really interested in someone, conversation lulls are usual. The other person might be tired, stressed out, or feeling unwell.
What are signs of a dry texter? ›- Repeatedly sending one-word answers.
- Keeping conversation short and not asking more questions or engaging you in conversation.
- Ignoring or glossing over photos, links, or memes that you send.
- Never texting you first and/or never starting conversations.
- Ask A Leading Question. Opening the conversation with a question can be a good strategy, but asking something they'll definitely know the answer to is even better. ...
- Jog Their Memory. ...
- Say Something Sweet. ...
- Bring Up A Shared Interest Or Experience. ...
- Send An Emoji. ...
- Be Genuinely Curious. ...
- Invite Them To Something Casually.
- Y/N: Thinking about me?
- Feeling cuddly? ...
- Still wearing your sweatshirt…
- Netflix? ...
- Can't stop thinking about your lips.
- How much skin is too much skin to show on our date tonight?
- You're my favorite veggie—a cute-cumber!
- Thinking a lot of things about you I can't say…but I could text.
Texting also carries a cognitive cost, draining your attentional resources. As your inner reserve is worn down, you become exhausted and burned out. The physiological activation involved in texting erodes your sleep, and the stage is set for you to feel emotionally depleted.
How to start a convo? ›- Tell me about you. ...
- Working on anything exciting lately? ...
- What's your story? ...
- What personal passion project are you working on right now? ...
- How do you know the host? ...
- What was the highlight of your day today? ...
- What was the highlight of your week?
Excessive Texting
For instance, texting non-stop could indicate that one partner is clingy and needy and feeling insecure in the relationship. While this is usually only harmful to the person doing the excessive texting, it can be smothering to the person on the receiving end.
- “Just the usual. You?”
- “Same old, same old.”
- “Hey! What's up with you?”
- “All good here! What about you?”
- “I'm doing well. Thanks for asking!”
What can I say instead of I'm bored? ›
Here are some common phrases and expressions to say 'I'm bored' or 'I'm tired'. What a bore! How boring! How dull!
What is a cool way to say im bored? ›Different Ways to Say “It's Boring”
I dislike it. I don't appreciate that. I was bored to death. I was bored to tears.