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Texting someone you like can be nerve-wracking, especially if you’re not sure how they feel about you. The worst thing you can do is send dry and boring texts and lose their attention before you even have a chance to take things to the next level.
Whether you’ve been crushing on them for a while or just matched on a dating app, there are lots of things you can do to make sure your texts are fun and exciting. Keep reading for 25 tips and examples to avoid being a dry texter and keep your crush interested in you.
What is dry texting?
Dry texting is simply when your texts lack any excitement, interest, or fun. Common examples of dry texts include one-word responses, boring questions they can answer with a simple yes or no, and texts that don’t invite any further conversation.
In contrast, fun and engaging texts make you seem like someone worth getting to know. They keep the conversation flowing naturally and give you a chance to build a deeper connection with the person you’re texting.
Dry texting is a surefire way to kill any potential romance before it even has a chance to start. Even if you’re fun and outgoing in person, your crush will never see that side of you if all they ever receive are dull and boring texts. Even worse, they will probably think you’re not interested in them because you can’t even be bothered to put in any effort.
Tips to avoid being a dry texter
So, how can you avoid being a dry texter and keep your crush interested in you? Here are all the tips and examples you need to know.
1. Ask lots of questions
Most people love talking about themselves, so one of the best ways to keep a conversation going is to ask lots of questions. Not only does it show that you’re interested in what they have to say, but it also gives you a chance to find out more about your crush.
Even better, asking your crush questions takes some of the burdens off you to be always interesting. So if you’re ever feeling stuck, ask them something about themselves and let them do the talking for a while.
Make sure you avoid simple yes or no questions, as these can be boring and won’t elicit much response. Instead, try to ask open-ended questions that encourage them to share more than just a one-word answer. Interesting, open-ended questions can take the conversations in new directions and give you more to work with.
Here are some examples of open-ended questions to get you started:
- “What’s been the best part of your week so far?”
- “What are you looking forward to most over Summer?”
- “What’s the most embarrassing thing that’s ever happened to you?”
- “If you could travel anywhere in the world, where would you go?”
- “What are the top five things on your bucket list?”
- “What’s something that very few people know about you?”
2. Keep the conversation flowing
The best conversations have a natural flow to them, where each person takes turns sharing information and responding to what the other person has said.
Carefully read what your crush has texted, and look for interesting ways to keep the conversation going. If you can, try to expand on something from their previous text or ask a follow-up question to one of their answers. This will show that you’re listening to them and engaged in the conversation.
For example, if they say, “I love hiking in the mountains,” you could respond with, “I’ve always wanted to try hiking. Do you have any tips for someone who’s never done it before?”
If you think the topic of conversation is getting stale or reaching a dead end, saying something like, “that reminds me of something that happened the other day,” is a great way to segue into a new topic.
3. Occasionally wait before you reply
Most of the time, you want to respond to a text as quickly as possible to keep the conversation flowing and make it clear that you’re interested.
However, occasionally waiting a little while before you reply can actually make you seem more desirable. For example, if your crush has sent you a particularly flirty text or asked you out on a date, delaying your reply for 5 or 10 minutes will build the anticipation, give them butterflies, and make them associate you with feeling happy and excited.
Of course, you don’t want to wait too long, or they might think you’re not interested. A good rule of thumb is to wait double the time it took them to reply before you send your text.
4. Use emojis to flirt and create hidden meaning
Emojis are a great shorthand to convey emotions that would require a lot of words to describe. They can also help you lighten the tone of a conversation or make a joke without it coming across as mean.
For example, if you want to tease your crush about something, you could include a winking face with tongue emoji 😜 to make it clear you’re not being serious. Or, if you’re trying to be flirty, a heart eyes emoji 😍 subtly let them know how you feel.
There are lots of seriously flirty emojis that will make your crush read between the lines and imagine all sorts of naughty things. Here are a few examples to get your imagination going:
- Devil smiley face 😈
- Licking lips 😋
- Kissing face 😘
- Naughty wink 😏
- Begging for you 🥺
- Peach booty 🍑
- Smoking hot 🥵
- Eggplant 🍆
5. Be a little mysterious
A little mystery can go a long way, especially over text. If you want to keep your crush guessing about how you feel and create some sexual tension, try being a little vague or elusive in your replies.
For example, if they ask how your night out went, instead of giving them a play-by-play of your every move, say something like, “OMG, it was one of the wildest nights of my life.” This will pique their curiosity and make them wonder what crazy things you got up to.
Or, if they ask what kind of music you’re into, instead of listing off all your favorite bands, tell them that you’ll have to show them when you see each other. Then they’ll be eagerly anticipating your next encounter.
Creating an air of mystery is a subtle art. You don’t want to come across as uninterested or aloof. Instead, try to be playful and engaging, but leave a little bit to the imagination.
6. Text first
A good rule of thumb is to try and text first about half the time. This keeps things equal but still shows that you’re interested without being overbearing.
However, if you have to text first most of the time, don’t worry about seeming needy or desperate. A little initiative can go a long way and show your crush that you care about them enough to make the first move.
But if you realize they would never text you if you didn’t initiate every conversation, it probably shows that they’re not as interested as you are.
Here are a few examples that will sound natural when you start a conversation:
- “I just had the most amazing <insert thing>, and it reminded me of you! What’s been happening in your world?”
- “I’ve been thinking about <insert thing> that you mentioned the other night. Can you recommend any articles I should check out?”
- “I listened to that band you recommended, and I love them! You’ve got fantastic taste in music. Who else should I be listening to?”
7. Show your vulnerable side
If you want your relationship with your crush to progress, it’s important that they see the real you, not just the fun and exciting version. Being honest and vulnerable is the key to building a deep and meaningful connection over text.
For example, if you’re worried about something important in your life, tell them what’s going on and ask for their advice. Or, if you’re feeling down, let them know and see if they have any words of wisdom to help cheer you up.
How much you open up depends on how well you know each other and how long you’ve been texting. But even if it’s just small talk at first, being genuine and honest will make a big impression on your crush.
8. Show that you’re paying attention
Showing your crush that you’re carefully reading their texts and paying attention to the details will make them feel special and appreciated. They will also be more likely to open up and feel comfortable confiding in you.
A great way to show that you’re paying attention is to follow up on texts from days or weeks ago. For example, you might say, “Last week, you mentioned having trouble with your big project at school. Have you figured out how to <insert details here>?”
9. Ask for their honest opinion
People love to feel like their opinions and ideas matter. If you want to make your crush feel good, ask for their honest opinion on something, even if you already know what you will do.
For example, you might say, “I was thinking about getting a <insert item>, but I’m not sure if it’s worth the money. What do you think?”
Asking their opinion on a controversial topic is also a great way to start a lively discussion and learn more about their beliefs. Just be open-minded about their opinion if it differs from your own.
10. Know when to flirt
Flirting is a great way to show interest and keep things fun and exciting. But it’s important to know when to dial it back, so you don’t come across as pushy or desperate.
A good rule of thumb is to avoid getting too personal or sexual until you know your crush better. Just follow their lead and let them guide how far the flirting goes. If they start getting a little more sexual, then you can do the same. But if they stay light and friendly, then you should too.
Here are a few examples of flirty texts that aren’t too forward:
- “Thanks for making me smile at my phone all night.”
- “You know you’re amazing, right?”
- ” I love the way you think.”
- “You understand me like no one else does.”
- “You’re so hot it drives me completely crazy.”
11. Don’t try to be someone you’re not
When you’re not talking face to face, it’s easier to pretend to be someone you’re not. But it’s important to be yourself if you want your crush to like you for who you are.
So don’t try to be someone you think they want you to be. Just relax and let your personality shine through. They’ll either love you for who you are or won’t, and there’s nothing you can do about it.
12. Don’t ignore good grammar
There’s nothing wrong with using slang or abbreviations in texts, but you should also try to use good grammar. It will make you seem more intelligent and mature, which is always good.
So before you hit send, take a quick look over your text to ensure everything makes sense and there are no typos. It will only take a few seconds, but it could make all the difference in how your crush perceives you.
13. Reply using full sentences
Short replies make you seem boring. If you want to keep your crush interested, make an effort to reply using complete sentences. It doesn’t have to be long or complicated; just a few words will do.
For example, suppose your crush sends you a text that says, “What are you doing tonight?” If you reply with, “Nothing much, ” it kills the conversation right there. But if you say, “Just planning on watching <insert show here> on Netflix. I’ve heard it’s good. Have you seen it?”, it gives them something to work with and keeps the conversation going.
14. Don’t come on too strong
Coming on too strong isn’t technically dry texting, but it’s still worth mentioning. You don’t want to bombard your crush with compliments and mushy messages, or they’ll start to think you’re a little desperate.
Try to space out your compliments, and don’t go overboard with them. Make sure they’re genuine compliments based on something you genuinely like about the person. The more specific you can be, the better.
And above all, avoid making grand declarations of love or telling your crush they’re your soulmate. Even if it’s true, you need to let things develop naturally, or you’ll scare them away. The time for that is when you’ve spent much more time with them, and you know they feel the same way about you.
15. Use GIFs to add excitement
GIFs are great when you can’t think of anything funny to say, or words alone won’t suffice. They can also add a lot of excitement and personality to your texts.
Just avoid using too many GIFs, or it will look like you’re incapable of coming up with your own original thoughts. Use them sparingly, and only when they genuinely add to the conversation.
16. Think before you hit send
In the heat of the moment, it’s easy to say something you’ll regret later. So before you hit send, take a few seconds to ensure your text is something you’re comfortable sending.
You don’t want to say something that could be misinterpreted or come across as too forward. Once you hit send, there’s no taking it back, so it’s always better to err on the side of caution.
Sending cute or sexy selfies is also very popular, but be careful with them. You should assume that any photo you send via text will end up being seen by more people than just your crush. So only send pictures you’re comfortable with the world seeing.
17. Focus on getting a date
In most cases, the goal of texting with someone you like is to score a first date. The longer you wait to ask someone out, the more likely they’ll lose interest or find someone else. So if you’re interested in taking things to the next level, don’t be afraid to ask your crush out on a date.
The worst they can say is no, and you’ll be no worse off than you are now. But if they say yes, you’re one step closer to getting what you want.
There’s no right or wrong way to ask someone on a date, but here are a few examples:
- “Hey, I was wondering if you’d like to grab dinner this Friday?”
- “There’s a great party happening next Friday. Would you like to come with me?”
- “That band you told me about is playing on Friday night. Do you want to go see them together on Saturday?”
18. Don’t forget to have fun
At the end of the day, texting and flirting should be fun. Don’t put too much pressure on yourself, and try not to take things too seriously.
If you feel shy or nervous, take things slow and remember there’s no rush. The goal is to get to know each other better and have a good time doing it.
And if things don’t work out with this person, don’t worry. There are plenty of other fish in the sea, and you’ll find someone else who’s perfect for you.
Signs you’re a dry texter
If you’re a dry texter, chances are you’re not even aware of it. If you see the following signs from your crush, there’s a good chance you might be guilty of sending boring texts.
1. They take longer to text you back
Taking increasingly longer to reply is usually a good indicator that someone isn’t interested in your texts. If it takes them hours or even days to respond, they’re probably not excited to talk to you.
2. Their texts get shorter
As the days or weeks go by, do you notice that their texts are getting shorter and less detailed? If they’re no longer asking you questions or trying to keep the conversation going, it’s a pretty good sign they’ve lost interest.
3. They never text first
When someone is interested in you, they’ll usually make an effort to text you first. If you’re always the one who has to start the conversation, it’s a bad sign.
4. They ignore your attempts at humor
If you’re constantly making jokes that fall flat, it might be a sign that your sense of humor isn’t compatible with theirs. It’s not the end of the world, but it’s something to keep in mind for future conversations.
5. They stop flirting
If the cute emojis and flirty comments have dried up, it’s probably because they don’t want to lead you on any further.
6. They don’t seem interested in meeting up
If you ask your crush out on a date and they always seem to have an excuse not to meet up, it’s a clear sign that they’re not interested. At this point, it’s time to move on and find someone else or accept that you’re stuck in the friend zone.
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How do I stop being dry in a conversation? ›
- Find what to say in your favorite topics. We all have things we are passionate about: activities, hobbies, projects, goals, ideas or jobs. ...
- Ask open ended questions. ...
- Blurt. ...
- Let the other person end the silence. ...
- Practice, practice, practice.
This guide to texting addresses the basics—write clearly; be yourself; be direct; double-check your text; follow up if you don't hear back; be careful with spell check and dictating; write out words, not emojis; and respond promptly.What causes dry texting? ›
“Dry texters may suffer from social anxiety and have a difficult time communicating their thoughts and feelings via written word,” says psychotherapist Anita Astley, LMFT, author of the forthcoming book Unf*ck Your Life and Relationships.What can I say to keep a conversation going? ›
- Tell me about yourself. ...
- What's been the best part of your day so far? ...
- What do you do to relax? ...
- What book are you reading right now? ...
- What's your favorite thing about your hometown? ...
- What's the last thing you bought online that you really loved?
- Don't take too long to reply. ...
- Avoid one-word responses. ...
- Have a purpose. ...
- Use emojis/GIFs/memes. ...
- Ask interesting questions. ...
- Have a sense of humor. ...
- Read between the lines. ...
- Flirt a little.
- I have a confession. ...
- Good morning! ...
- I love flirting with you over the phone, but I'd rather do it in person. ...
- You're so cute. ...
- I was just thinking about you, so I thought I'd say hi. ...
- After that makeout sesh my lips are a little swollen...
- Be more interested. ...
- Ask open-ended questions. ...
- Leverage your environment (or your wardrobe). ...
- Play the student. ...
- Gamify for your own amusement. ...
- Be more interesting. ...
- Give up on lost causes.
- Repeatedly sending one-word answers.
- Keeping conversation short and not asking more questions or engaging you in conversation.
- Ignoring or glossing over photos, links, or memes that you send.
- Never texting you first and/or never starting conversations.
Dry texting refers to brief, emotionless texts that sort of keep the conversation going but without any real purpose or effort. While everyone may be guilty of sending the occasional dry text from time to time, a serial dry texter can come across as rude, awkward, aloof, or downright socially unaware.How do you deal with one word replies? ›
- 1 Avoid making assumptions.
- 2 Ask him what's up.
- 3 Try changing the subject.
- 4 Ask him some open-ended questions.
- 5 Switch to a phone conversation.
- 6 Give him space if he's busy.
- 7 Tell him if his dry texts bother you.
- 8 Let him start the conversation sometimes.
How can I appear interesting? ›
- Be Curious and Ask Lots of Questions.
- Be Open to New Experiences and Meeting New People.
- Be a Good Storyteller.
- Talk About Things That Interest You Even If They Are Not Mainstream.
- Be Yourself, Quirks and All.
- Share Your Thoughts and Opinions Honestly and Openly.
- Tell me about you. ...
- Working on anything exciting lately? ...
- What's your story? ...
- What personal passion project are you working on right now? ...
- How do you know the host? ...
- What was the highlight of your day today? ...
- What was the highlight of your week?
- Cuddling with you would be perfect right now.
- I was dreaming of you all night long.
- I think of you every morning and dream of you every night.
- Good morning, pretty.
- The best part of my morning is you. ...
- I hope you spend your day thinking of me. ...
- Hoping you slept well.
In conclusion, if he likes you, he will text you. How guys text you when they like you varies, but some are consistent. For example, a guy will ask many questions about you, text first, compliment you, send emojis, make you laugh, find reasons to talk to you, and give hints for a date.What to talk about when theres nothing to talk about? ›
- When you don't have anything to say, the best choices are usually asking the other person a question, repeating what was said, saying whatever comes to your mind, or being honest that you have nothing to add. ...
- Relax: Take a deep breath and remind yourself that you're not going to be judged as harshly as you might think.
Use "haha's" generously. When texting, the other person cannot see or hear your reaction, so things that sound nice when you say them may not read that way. Answering a casual, light-hearted question with "Yes, haha" or "Yeah" rather than just "Yes" will show your text-ee that you are in a good mood.Is being a dry texter a red flag? ›
A text exchange with no emotion could be a red flag, she notes. If the texts are flat, with no smiling in the language and little energy, this might be an indication the date is emotionally aloof. Some people manage the anxiety of attachment by trying to control their environment, Winsberg points out.How do I stop being boring? ›
- Focus on fun things in life. Here's the first step on learning how to not be boring. ...
- Don't talk about yourself too much. ...
- Ask questions. ...
- Stay interested in them. ...
- Be aware of the world around you. ...
- Be spontaneous. ...
- Find your type of humor. ...
- Say 'yes' more often.
- What is the hardest decision you have ever had to make?
- If you found out you had 24 hours to live, what would you do?
- What is your biggest regret?
- How would the people closest to you describe you as a person?
- What is your greatest goal in life?
Going overboard with the emoji.
1/3 of men think more than 3 emojis in a text is too many emojis. Only 21 percent of men use emojis themselves. 3. Making vague suggestions that he entertain you, such as: "I'm bored," "What r u up to?," and "Heyy hows it goin?" (This is for those of you in the dating world.)
How can you tell if someone is dry texting? ›
- They Keep Their Texts Short. Shutterstock. ...
- They Take A Long Time To Reply. ...
- They Claim They “Didn't See Your Message” ...
- They Don't Ask Questions. ...
- They Don't Spellcheck Their Texts. ...
- They Text Sporadically.
Reply within 30–60 minutes to play it a little cool.
While it's okay to reply later if you're actually busy, purposefully waiting to text somebody might feel disrespectful if you're available. If you had to make the person wait for more than an hour, offer them an apology and explain what kept you from messaging them.
- Ask Her Interesting Questions. ...
- Ask Her about Her Life and Background. ...
- Ask Her about Her Hopes and Dreams. ...
- When You Learn Something about Her, Ask More Questions about It. ...
- If She Asks You about Yourself, Be Vulnerable and Share. ...
- Leave Her Wanting More.
- Keep it short and sweet. As a general rule, the simpler the message, the better. ...
- Stay positive. Flirting, by nature, is meant to be cheerful and lighthearted — it should make you both feel like you're in high school again. ...
- Be complimentary.
- Ask a playful question.
Some ladies do not text first because they want you to initiate the contact yourself. They enjoy the thrill of being chased and at the center of their significant other's attention. As a result, they would lay back and allow the other person to always reach out to them first.